What stops us from DOING the things we want to do

Today it is one of those days.

Having your own business is great because you have the freedom of doing what you love most. You do things because you believe in them, not because you have to or because they bring you money. Revenue is only a consequence of your efforts.

But having a business is also hard. And you have moments when you don’t know what to handle first, when you feel lonely and demotivated, when you forget about the good things, when shitty things happen, when it hurts like hell. When you start dreaming about the warm and comfortable place that an employment contract gives you and you feel like giving up and diving into that comfort. For me, it’s one of those days.

We like seeing success. Seeing success inspires you. It can give you energy for the moment and it can help you dream big. Which, of course, is essential in building anything. But sharing struggles? Where does that come into play? Why do we always seem to forget to talk about the hard times and the less pretty things that happen in our lives and business?

Let me get things straight: I am NOT talking here about complaining here. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself. I am talking about taking out the frustrations, about letting go of the demons in our heads, about overcoming fears, about saying out and open what are the obstacles that keep you from taking the next step.

Why is this so important? Because sometimes we just cannot handle everything ourselves. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by emotions and even if we had energy and motivation to DO the things we want, all these feelings put a veil on us and keep us from using our hands and minds. And that’s when, more than anything, we need support.

And it’s not just that. One of the biggest needs of people is human connection. The Blue Zones has identified connection among the top 5 secrets that of the world’s longest-lived peoples have in common. The longest study ever made on happiness, following over 700 people for 75 consecutive years throughout their lives revealed that the most important aspect for staying healthy and for well-being is having quality connections. Facebook itself started and is succeeding so well precisely because of our need for connection and “friends”.

But do you know what is the way to creating these truly valuable and strong connections with people, beyond the “friend on Facebook” or “I have your business card” tag?

It’s sharing struggles. Sharing the pains, the fears, the hard times. That is when we resonate most, when we connect, when we feel closer. When we no longer feel that we are alone. Only that this implies being vulnerable. And you can only be vulnerable if you trust the person in front of you. If you feel that whatever you share with them is valued and used to heal you and not used against you. We can only be vulnerable when the others are there for us: to listen, understand and support us. This is why being kind to people is essential. Only then we will develop truly genuine and strong connections with the people around us.

For me, it’s one of those days when I need connection. When I need someone to just listen and say it’s going to be all right, to help me breath and focus on just one thing. And I am grateful to have such people around me. That’s exactly how I ended up writing this article: having someone to share my struggles with and motivate me into turning the madness into something constructive.

If you have days like mine, if you feel the need for authentic connections with people who understand you and share your struggles and if you feel like you could use the help of others, it means that you understand where I’m coming from. And starting exactly from these needs, I have created a brand new program, dedicated to entrepreneurs and leaders who go through this kind of days in their life and business. It’s called CONNECTION and you can learn everything about it here.

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